Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A Post in High Resolution

New Year's resolutions, the list.  Ready, set, go.

1.)  This year, I resolve to bring my acne problem down a notch (yes, you're welcome for this information).  Nothing is working.  That strong, salicylic acid stuff dermatologists recommend is too rough on my skin, so it's time to try a cleanser that is both gentle and effective.  I could also couple a warrior of a cleanser with a nice pH-balanced lotion afterwards.  And probably the most important acne-fighting measure is to wash my hair more often.  Come on, Eliza, you hippie :)

2.)  The other more important resolution is to let people live their own lives the way they want to.  Or, in the immortal words of Cole Porter, "live and let live".  People do not want advice unless they ask for it.  People do not want to change their lives for the better until they are ready to do it.  This is good practice for being a wife who is not an annoying nag as well.  

Most of the time, when people's lives are a giant whirlwind of self-destructive behavior, it stems from the fact that they don't love themselves.  And they are bad at loving themselves because someone else was bad at loving them at some point or another.  So it's possible if I just offer them the kind of unconditional love God offers me that they will start to love themselves a little better.  And then they'll want to treat themselves better.

I don't know if this is a clear explanation, but it makes a lot of sense in my head.  And it will be pretty hard to carry out at times.

So it's time for a year where I let people mess up their lives and love them anyway.  And also fewer zits.


Monday, May 5, 2014

This is a problem.

Here's something I've been learning at college... I get frustrated by anything I consider to be weakness.

If someone is fragile, shy, insecure, or not totally emotionally healthy, it can spark this fire in me.  And not the nice, spiritual, righteous sort of fire that's the kind we want.  More like the kind that's mean and unfair... like a grease fire.  I mean, anything that ruins a pan full of bacon is just plain cruel.  But I digress.

Why do I get all peeved when someone is too shy to assert themselves?  Or when they aren't able to be open and honest about something that's hurting them?  Why does this tick me off so much?  Where is my Jesus-given compassion?

Maybe it's because I am insecure.  The things that I have to work so hard on to overcome... when they show up in someone else I get all agro.

And I think this happens with everyone.  Because when I am feeling sad or insecure, sometimes people don't seem to notice or try to do anything about it.  It is a lot of work to draw someone out of their shell and it's kind of uncomfortable and awkward for the drawer-outer.  Maybe they feel the same way I feel in their position: "just get it together!  Why do I have to do all this work to make you feel good?".

I believe this is why people like outgoing, seemingly confident friends.  I know I do.  I like to hang out with people who already seem to love themselves and don't need me to.  And when people like themselves, they unconsciously give me permission to love myself too (that may be a partially plagiarized quote from somewhere, but not sure where).

This is the exact and utter opposite of Jesus.  I need His compassion and unconditional love.  Because the only way to break this yucky cycle is to go against the natural way of things and love people when it's hard and when they need it most.  Goodness knows I need people to do that for me.

If you made it to the end of this little post, you are a stud.  You deserve a Butterfinger bar.

(With imperfect) love,