Tuesday, February 17, 2015

I want you to be my best friend.

I am discovering another thing about myself (this is something people do in college).

I want everyone in the world to be my best friend.

You are friendly to me?  Not good enough.  You are probably doing it just to be nice, you don't actually like me.

You make time to invest in my life and encourage me often? Not good enough.  I also need you to need me.  I want you to come to me when you are sad and when you need somebody to talk to.

So this leaves no room for the 99.9% of people in the world who are just kind or who want to be a "mentor" of sorts or who don't know how to be that kind of friend because they've never learned.

This is probably just another leaf on my giant bouquet of insecurity.


A few thoughts in lieu of a proper conclusion...

 * If everyone were really my BFF, I would be exhausted.
 * Insecurity is telling me that people are just being kind because they are kind.  Instead, what if I told myself that they actually like me as a person
 * Sometimes, people's personalities and loving styles are just different.  It's not a matter of liking or disliking someone.  It's just life.  So if someone doesn't think they need me as a best friend, it doesn't mean anything's wrong with me.

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